8am- I wake up. I need my diaper changed immediately if not sooner because "my butt hurts!" Even though there is no visual evidence of a diaper rash.
8:05am- I get dressed. First, though, Mommy must rub Aveeno cream on my back because "My mosquito bites hurt and itch." Even though all visual evidence of them has disappeared two weeks ago.
8:15am- I ask Mommy to please take the tags out of the t-shirt I've been wearing at least once a week for the past six months because, "the tags hurt". Mommy carefully cuts the tags out and waits for me to start whining because the ragged edge hurts. Miraculously, it does not.
8:16am- I eat my breakfast- a Lender's bagel in the microwave on high for 20 seconds. No, not toasted- bagels are not toast! Bagels must be soft and chewy and warm, not rough like toast!
8:55am- Mommy and I arrive at the dentist. Mommy gets a cleaning. I freak because of all the noise- the thing that sucks saliva out of Mommy's mouth is too high-pitched, as is the thing that actually cleans her teeth. Oh, and the thing that dries out the inside of Mommy's mouth? That's pretty darn terrifying, too- it just sounds scary, and I have no idea why. Mommy seems pretty relaxed, but I don't know why. Wait, Mommy did tell me this, but if she thinks I am letting that dentist guy put his hands IN MY MOUTH and count my teeth, she's got another thing coming. Oh, good, the dentist is a smart man- he decided not to try it, and gave Mommy the name of a dentist who specializes in kids. I don't know why he bothered- I am not letting any strange person do the stuff in my mouth that that guy did in Mommy's mouth today!!
10:30am- Shopping, whee!!! Mommy lets me help her push the cart. We buy all kinds of fireman stuff for my birthday party with my friends! Mommy bought special hats that look like cones. She stands looking at them for a long time before putting them in the cart. I see a cool red plastic fireman hat and ask hopefully if I could have it. Mommy beams at me like that was a wonderful idea and says yes. I wear it around the rest of the store and in the car on the way home. She says we have to be careful with it because I will wear it at my birthday party! I don't care- I like it now! Mommy mutters under her breath something that sounds like, "At least there's one hat you'll wear without screaming."
11:10am- We arrive at the haircut place. Oh, crap. I knew this was coming- Mommy started talking about it over the weekend- but I really hoped she'd forget. I hate haircuts- the place is so loud, especially when the haircut lady uses those loud things near my ears to cut little tiny hairs. The comb feels scratchy on my scalp, and the water bottle she sprays my hair with ("That makes your hair easier to cut," Mommy says.) is just COLD and feels like needles! The place is kind of fun to wander around before the haircut- they have video screens and stuff to play with- but the minute the lady comes to get us, I start crying. I can't help it. I wish I never needed another haircut. I cry through most of the haircut, but about 3/4 of the way through, I notice that the video on the screen in front of my chair (It's so high up!! What if I FALL??) is interesting, so I stop crying so I can hear the video. When the haircut is all done, the lady brushes powder all over me, yuck!! It stinks and it makes me sneeze! Mommy says it helps get the hair off me so it doesn't itch me all day long. Can't they get it off me a different way? Once that's done, though, Mommy picks me up, sits down, and hugs and squeezes me tight, and rubs my scalp for me. Aahhhh...that's so much better. Then we go and get a toy from the machine, pay for the haircut, and come home.
12:30pm- We're home. I sigh and sit down on my nice couch and take my shoes and socks off because my feet are hot, and watch Dora and Diego. Once they're done, and I eat some applesauce for lunch, Mommy brings me upstairs, changes my diaper, reads me a story, and puts me in my crib. She has a good memory- she even remembered I need my socks back on to sleep- they're already in the crib, waiting for me. I can't sleep without them, no matter how hot it is- my feet feel too open without the socks holding them in!
Yeah...it's now 2:30pm, and he's been in for a nap for about a half hour. This afternoon, we're going to the library, which he likes.
6 years ago